A Writer's Journey

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Maya Angelou

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

Victor Hugo

Saturday, December 5, 2009

When Destiny Calls - Chapter 1

So I needed a little motivation to continue writing my Sam/Emily/Leah fanfic amidst all of the crap going on in my life. LOL Not only were there pictures like these of Chaske (see pictures below):

Photo courtesy of Hollywood Reporter

Photo courtesy of Screen Rush

Photo courtesy of EclipseMovie and Lainey Gossip

...but there are also the activities of a certain @WolfzSam and of course the original Sam in my heart @WerewolfSam from the Twitter Cullens that get my heart a-pumpin... ::swoon::

So in the quest to finish something I started so long ago, I'm posting chapters that are done for anyone who wants a little more Sam than the movies or books had the decency to give us. So, without further ado, the first chapter of my fanfic When Destiny Calls...

DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight-related material. I'm just borrowing Sam for a bit... ;)

Chapter One – Normal


I heard a soft murmur in my ear as I opened my eyes halfway, slowly, lazily. For a brief moment, I had forgotten where I was, stretching my body as the muscles strained underneath. My hand absently reached out and I quickly remembered, feeling the grainy sand against my fingertips.

Second Beach.

I turned my head to the side and opened my eyes fully now. Leah was kneeling towards me, a small smile on her beautiful face.

“Hi,” she whispered playfully.

“Hi, yourself,” I answered, just as softly. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not that long, about a half hour. I didn’t want to wake you.” She gazed at me sheepishly.

I groaned as I felt another stretch coming on and let out an involuntary yawn.

“What’ve you been doing all this time?”

“Oh you know, just sitting here…” she trailed off, color rising in her cheeks.

“Just sitting there, huh?” I was teasing her, enjoying the way her lashes fluttered when she was embarrassed.

“Well, I, uh…”

I looked at her, grinning widely.

“Oh alright, already. I like watching you sleep,” she admitted grudgingly. “There, you happy now?”

Her eyes flared in my direction and that was all it took for me pull her close, as she struggled playfully, feebly against my grip.

“Yeah, happy…” I murmured in her ear. I felt her relax into my arms as we watched the gray waters ripple with the tide, the waves crashing against the shore.

It was nearly noon when we finally started packing everything up, the sun blazing uncharacteristically bright. Leah stood next to the truck, her raven hair blowing around her face in slow motion as the cool breeze swirled in the air around us.

I paused, the water cooler still in my hands, frozen in place as I watched her. Her eyes squinted against the sunlight, moving her hand across her face to brush the long dark strands away. It always seemed to amaze me how quickly she took my breath away.

Leah and I had been inseparable since high school. I can still remember the way she looked when I saw her that warm summer day at Harry Clearwater’s house, the scrawny kid replaced by a growing woman.

She had been fourteen then, still a child in some ways, but I couldn’t get past how much she had grown up since I’d last seen her. I was only fifteen, myself, inexperienced with things like girls and the whole dating thing. I had talked to her a few times before because our families knew each other fairly well, but all of a sudden I had started feeling insecure and nervous every time I was around her. I could barely form complete sentences, trying to make small talk as I tried to close the gap between us.

I would find any excuse to see her, sometimes running errands for my mom when she needed something brought to the Clearwaters or helping Harry out when he needed an extra hand around the place. I used to see her from the corner of my eye while I pretending to be occupied with whatever escapade I had thought up that day, mooning over her the moment she walked away.

She was the one that broke the ice about what was happening between us. The months we’d spent talking and constantly being in each other’s company still hadn’t afforded me the guts to tell her how I felt. I was mesmerized by her and for the longest time, I never imagined, never even entertained the thought, that she would want me that way. So Leah, being the force that she was, confronted me about it and I was cornered into confessing just how strongly my feelings had developed. The anxiety only dissipated when I read her eyes and realized that she had felt the same way. It’s been a little over three years and we’ve been joined at the hip ever since.

She gradually became aware that I was watching her and turned to face me, a quizzical expression on her face. She suddenly looked self-conscious, something only I was able to bring out of her.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” she asked, sticking her tongue out at me. I snapped back to reality and slid the water cooler into the truck bed, shutting the door behind it.

“No, there’s nothing on your face,” I answered, laughter in my eyes. “I was just wondering how you could stand there, not knowing how beautiful you are.”

She blushed deeply, her russet skin glowing as the sun’s rays disappeared behind the clouds.

“Mom? Seth? We’re back! Is anyone home?” Leah stepped through the front door of her house as I walked behind her, carrying the sleeping bags we had brought out on the beach with us.

Seth strolled in, a goofy grin spread across his face as he looked at Leah with a mocking expression.

“Ooooh… you’re in trouble…” he taunted in a sing-song voice. “You’re gonna get it when Mom gets home!”

“What do you mean I’m in trouble?” she retorted, annoyed. “I told Mom I wouldn’t be home until today. You were right there when she said it was okay. I mean, it’s not like this is the first time we’ve spent the night at the beach.”

“Uh huh, sure. I’d be careful what you say when she comes back. She’s not too happy with the two of you right now.” He made a couple of tsk tsk sounds before he flew out the door.

“The two of us? Now what did I do?” I laughed as she rolled her eyes, showing that she didn’t have the slightest concern about what her brother had just said.

“Ugh, it’s probably nothing and Seth’s just overreacting. C’mon, let’s put this stuff away so that we don’t give her any ammunition to start with.” She laughed nervously as she started picking up the stuff from the floor.

Before I could stop myself, I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close to me. Her face registered a look of surprise, giggling as she turned towards me, looking directly into my eyes. I felt the strange flutter in my stomach as she pressed her forehead against my chin, her breathing even and content.

My hands moved to her face, tracing the soft curve of her jaw with my thumb, completely dumbfounded by her beauty. My fingers continued to trace the shape of her face, running along her perfect cheekbones, down the tip of her nose, and finally across the length of her full lips, like I was trying to remember the flawlessness of every feature. I ran my other hand through her hair, brushing the strands away from her eyes.

“How did I ever get so lucky?” I asked her softly. Wonder filled my senses, making it hard for me to breathe.

She snorted, a teasing grin displayed across her face. “Oh I don’t know. I’ve been trying to figure that out myself.”

“Oh were you, now? Well, what’ve you come up with?” I felt her breath quicken as I continued to run my thumb along the outer jut of her jaw line.

“Hmm… let me think,” she replied, her eyes glinting mischievously, as she ran her fingers slowly across the length of my chest. “I think I might need some incentive on your part so that I can come up with a good reason.”

I held her tighter, feeling the erratic drumming of her heart against my chest. Slowly, deliberately, I bent my head low and leaned my forehead against hers. She exhaled sharply as I pressed my lips softly on hers, losing myself for a moment as she reciprocated the gesture. After a few minutes, we broke apart, both of us flushed and slightly disheveled. I continued to cradle her waist in my arms as I leaned into her ear.

“I love you, Leah,” I whispered softly, never doubting for a moment the words I had just confessed. “I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too, Sam. Always,” she repeated, kissing me lightly, as if to seal the promises we both just made.

We quickly pulled apart as someone cleared their throat behind us. Standing by the doorway was Sue Clearwater, hands on her hips, a disapproving look on her face.

Chapter 2 to come... Have I already said how in love with Sam (now realized in the form of Chaske Spencer) I am?! No?! Then you haven't been listening... LOL Until next post! xoxo

Saturday, October 24, 2009

New Moon Break Up Scene FULL - Sneak Peak

I, like the true fan girl that I am, totes bawled whilst watching this scene... I hope you enjoy it before it gets pulled like the Volturi fight scene below...

Be prepared for some emotional strings to be tugged...

Video above courtesy of teamedwardmom

So excited for November with my girls @SweetLikeSandi @Ginger_Swan @lelu2 and the ever delectable @SpankRansom!!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Volturi Fight Scene - SNEAK PEAK

At this rate, I'll probably watch the majority of the movie before November even comes... but, then again, who's complaining?!

Video above courtesy of alterreaz

I can't fucking sit still now... ::le sigh:: The burden of sneak peaks...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

New Swoon-Worthy Clip from New Moon

I just about died when I saw this and have seen it about 10-15 times in the last hour or so. LOL Samske's voice gives me the tingles that just won't quit. And, yeah, the transformation was all kinds of hawtness.

Enjoy and change panties accordingly. kthxbai

Video above courtesy of ClevverTV

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Return of the Blogger

Okay, so it's been a while since my last post. Why does that sound somewhat like the beginning of a confession? In any case, what else could have caused me to come back out of my shell, if not for the upcoming release of a certain fangirl-worthy movie.

The above video is courtesy of 777gb

Not only am I seeing my wolfies come out in this installment of the saga, but I get to see it with a few of my closest gals!! Now what could be better than that?! If you are wondering who these awesome chicks are, please see below and be awed by them as I am:


I'm sure it'll be a fabulous time and we'll all be bringing several changes of "wardrobe" if you know what I mean.

Speaking of fabulous, I just got word that my girl Katie, aka @vampirefreak101, has scored autographs from both Tyson Houseman and @THEREALCHASKE for me... I think I went into a state of shock. There may have been a large amount of fangirl squeeeeeeeeeing in the process...I don't know ---->> the memory is hazy and filled with smutty thoughts of Chaske Spencer. And all of this because Katie just had to be THAT awesome. I'll post pics of the awesomeness she scored for me when I get them.

All this talk of Chaske made me all tingly and wet, so here are some new pics to tide me, err...everyone over until he makes his debut next month...

Pictures above courtesy of Pasion for Twilight Blog

With all of this madness over Samske, I almost forgot the first love of my vampire-life, Jacksper...

Photos above courtesy of MTV.

Now I can sleep soundly... ::le sigh::

Friday, April 24, 2009

One Before Bed...

Ok, I retract any bad thoughts I've ever had about this guy... or the fact that I had the audacity to compare Alex Meraz to him... He's such a beautiful piece of work, isn't he? <3 Photos courtesy of Lainey Gossip

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Just a short post before bed... =)

Just a little doodle I did of my favorite alpha... nitey nite! =)

detailed pic can be found here

And here's the new wolf pack pic courtesy of Twilighter's Anonymous... completely drool-worthy ;)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

More on Chaske Spencer...

Ok, so some of my friends and fellow Twilighters may chastise me or even violently throw things at me, but I'm sorry guys... I've officially moved on to the werewolves... (thanks for not leaving nasty comments btw lol...) One of the only reasons why? Please see below...

Chaske Spencer out and about in Vancouver

Chaske Spencer and Bronson Pelletier

Even this picture's completely adorable...

I admit, I was a little doubtful at first, but it didn't take long for me to completely warm up to him... so now, as I'm finishing up chapters for the Sam/Emily/Leah fanfic, I have a nice vivid picture of who Sam Uley is supposed to be, instead of seeing Solomon Trimble's face (which I never completely agreed with anyway...). Have I said bleh to the whole "Solomon Trimble as Sam" yet? No? Ok, bleh...

I mean, don't get me wrong, I was already kind of a fan of Chaske's before this whole New Moon thing happened to him, but seeing recent pics have definitely changed the way I see him in his previous work. He just looks so... what's the right word I'm trying to find?... older? distinguished? I don't know... but whatever it is, it's definitely working. I have to stop myself sometimes because I tend to ramble uselessly like a little girl with a school girl crush when his name is mentioned anywhere in my near vicinity... well, I guess everyone needs their fix, right? Except that most people are still hung up on the vamps (helloooo, RPattz... lol), but they should really get that wake up call (and maybe a good kick in the pants? I don't know... lol) and move on over on this side of the treaty. Hopefully we'll see some more C.Spencer-goodness and a little less RPattz in the near future... =) (ok, I know that's kind of a long shot, but can't blame a girl for trying...)

Photos courtesy of Lainey Gossip and Twilighters Anonymous

Friday, April 17, 2009

Columbine: The REAL Story???

So after 10 years, the truth finally comes out... check out the link below to read the full article from USA Today:

Click here

Apparently everything that was made to look like fact when the shootings were being investigated was not what they were being portrayed to be. It's now being said that the shooters weren't victims who were good kids retaliating for all the bad things and bullying they went through, but actually both just severely disturbed people. I like how society first decided to place the blame elsewhere for the way the shooters took their anger out on the public (insert sarcasm here)... I'm mean, really, why couldn't they have completely shouldered the blame in the first place?

Sure, they may have been teased and ridiculed... there are a lot of kids that go through that phase and not all of them have some kind of psychotic break and decide that they were going to just start shooting people up because of a "me against the world" mentality. It was also said that Eric Harris, the more dominant of the two, was a bona fide psychopath who suffered from extreme psychological and emotional distress. Oh, and he was a good liar. I suppose that's a good enough excuse as to why no one saw what was coming.

Now "experts" are saying Harris, as demented and disturbed as he was, had the potential to be another Timothy McVeigh had he waited a few more years and actually perfected his skill at making bombs... what the hell... the minds of children in current society are already thinking domestic terrorism... what is the world coming to and why isn't anyone doing anything about it???

Friday, April 10, 2009

Okay, so Chaske Spencer is really starting to grow on me...

I found this great link to www.nativevue.org from like March 2007 and they had interviewed Chaske Spencer, who as everybody knows, has been cast as Sam Uley :sigh: for the Twilight Saga's New Moon movie. See link below:


I'm glad that they had recast the role of Sam because, honestly, I couldn't really see Solomon Trimble play Sam in such a pivotal role. He's the Alpha, for god sakes! Anyhoo, I'm just glad that they had cast such an awesome actor (Solomon was a little flat in "Twilight") and he's lemony delicious too (down, smutty thoughts, down!)!

Sorry, couldn't help myself... LOL

Disclaimer: I do not own the photo above.
Courtesy of www.cullenboysanonymous.blogspot.com and www.laineygossip.com

Thursday, April 9, 2009

New Moon and Fan Fic - Sam Uley

This was the only "decent" picture I had seen of Chaske until today and, truthfully, it really wasn't doing anything for me because of the pictures directly below... (does alex meraz ever wear a shirt???)

So looking at the collage of photos of Alex Meraz have repeatedly caused me to say "Chaske-who?", but alas a winner is found below...

He kinda grows on you, doesn't he? He may just bring Sam Uley to life in my mind after all... =)

and another one for the road...

Disclaimer: I do not own the photos above - again they are only borrowed to appease my smutty, smutty thoughts and for fan fic inspiration purposes

Vancouver Photos courtesy of www.laineygossip.com (more yummy pics at aforementioned website) and owned by Punk D Images
Chaske/Alex Photo Merge courtesy of www.twilightsagamovies.co.uk
Alex Collage courtesy of www.newmoonmovie.org

MMM... new pics of Rob - Dossier

Photo By: Theo Wenner
Courtesy of www.MTV.com and www.thehollywoodgossip.com
Disclaimer: I do not own photos above. I am merely borrowing them to appease my smutty thoughts... >;)

So does anyone besides me get a really "lemony" feeling when they look at these photos? I think I might have to come back to Team Edward... well, I think I'm hanging by a thread b/c there is a seriously intoxicating, tantalizing pull from the werewolves' side... :sigh: ok, enough with the smutty thoughts...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

One for the Road Before Bed! :sigh:

These guys would definitely give the vamps a run for their money! :double sigh:
Disclaimer: I do not own the photo above. Courtesy of http://socialitelife.celebuzz.com

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Fanfic again... Just can't get enough of it!


There are so many fan fiction websites that are completely dedicated to the Twilight series, but none that have as many well-written ones as Twilighted.net. I just can't seem to get enough of all things Twilight and it seems that with the slew of movies coming out and the abundance of fan fiction available for the overly-obsessed fanbase, my own personal obsession might just be starting. (Ok, for those who know me, I know that this might be a tad hard to believe...)

Take for instance, the story in the above link. It isn't about the usual main characters that everyone and their mother's mother is obsessed with, but is actually about two barely recognizable characters from the series that have now come to life through an amazing storyteller. (Major kudos to Rosybud for writing the heartwrenchingly sweet story in the aformentioned link above!)

The story begins eleven years after Breaking Dawn ends and I doubt that Stephenie Meyer and all her Twilight goodness could have made a better version. I was amazed at the detail and sincerity that flowed from the two characters featured and was not at all surprised that I can clearly picture them in my mind as though they were part of the initial series all along. Let me tell you, Quil Ateara has never looked better! At the end of each update, I find myself wondering "Edward and Bella-who?". And that's saying a lot considering my obsession with the original series. So for those who've found the time to stop by, take a minute to read Quil and Claire's journey and I promise you won't be disappointed! =)

Just in case you guys were wondering who was cast as Quil for New Moon. In theatres November 20, 2009!!! whoo hoo!!! =D
Disclaimer: I do not own the photo above. Courtesy of http://dazzledbyedward.com

Monday, March 30, 2009

Internet Disappearing by 2012?!?!


So apparently there's some speculation about the validity of this YouTube posting, since such a worldwide shut down of all internet services is highly unlikely. However, information displayed in the video does hit a nerve with some people who have already developed conspiracy theories regarding the government-headed attacks on the world wide web. I'm a little more skeptical. I think that if the internet were to be shut down without just cause, the government wouldn't be a party to it because let's face it, people, there would be a massive uprising from all different kinds of people all over the world. It would be a manic pandemonium that I don't think the world is ready for. Think global chaos in armageddon-like circumstances. After all, the internet is the one place where people can freely express themselves without fear that their rights are going to be trampled on. Sure there are those who take slight advantages of it (i.e. those who download porn, music, movies, etc.), but for the most part, we are merely a collective group trying to make our voices heard. But then again, as with any government, history has proven that we, as a people, have more than our share of reasons why we should doubt the veracity of said government. Not to say that the government couldn't do right by the people. But can we really blame the doubts forming in our minds about what our government is capable of doing to the general population?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

what would the world be w/o fan fiction?

I've just finished reading a fan fic called "A Tale of Two Edwards" from the Twilighted website and I've gotta tell you, it's one of the most well-written I've read in some time. This whole hysteria thing that got the whole world riled up about the Twilight franchise is manic, but what can you do, right? I've jumped head-first into the slew of the hysteria (ok, it was more like catapulted with lightning force, but you get the picture) and I've gotta say, even though the series could've used a bit more editing in my opinion, Twilight, for what it is, has a really good pull that most people would identify with. Just the whole idea of a forbidden love in it's most unreachable form is definitely something that would tug at the heart strings of any adolescent teen or 30-something housewife looking for that juicy something-or-other to get their excitement going.

So anyway, I digress. With the fandom exploding in the unprecedented cult following that it has now become, the rise of Twilight fan fic has significantly grown due to the number of people who have other ideas about the inhumanly beautiful vampire and his average mortal (ok, so I don't know if it's just me, but Kristen Stewart is really kinda too hot to be cast as just an average mortal... she even looks better than Rob Pattinson in some promotional tour pics lol). I'm digressing again with the unnecessary side ad libs, but hey, give me a break here, I'm trying to unload a whole bunch of things from this head of mine. So basically, breaking it down to the whole point of this blog that I'm trying to pen (um, type?), the world of fan fiction has taken a good hit of new "aspiring" writers that let their imagination go wild with the exploration of how they would like Bella and Edward's stories to go. It's just nice to see that the cultivation of the minds of today's youths aren't wasted. And no, that wasn't supposed to be sarcastic.